Thursday, November 21, 2013

Key Factors When Leaving a Playdate

There comes a time after a relaxing afternoon snack or a cozy midday movie viewing that we need to grab the kids and head to the comforts of home. To many, the exit may presumably be uneventful. What could possibly come between you and that door? The following necessities when leaving a playdate are most certainly coming between you .. and that door...

  • there must be a child behind their parent dangling from their neck at all times
  • a child should be spinning in the room without a care in the world
  • most often, both parents and kids can be found speaking at once and as loudly as possible so as to hear one another, if hearing is still possible at this point. Note: Absorbing anything you hear is not at all happening
  • in another room, a child must be sitting and playing as they have no intention of leaving, or rather, arguing about leaving 
  • at no point should any child voluntarily be putting shoes and coats on
  • children should be running in the opposite direction of where you need them
  • everything that you just explained has to happen in order to leave .. it's not happening. ever.
  • at all times, parents should be in a low and awkward squat position, hovering over coats and shoes while conversing in the case that a child may actually head in your direction to cooperate
  • missing article(s) of clothing, particularly socks, are expected
  • you will completely forget everything you wanted to say to the other parents until the precise moment that they have left your driveway. At this point all of the info will come flooding back while you try not to text a novel to your currently driving fellow parent
  • lastly - the moment will come when you and your children are heading out the door. at this time, you will have put behind you any recollection that any of the former has ever happened.
The End.

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